AITA for giving my wife an ultimatum?

From the outside, our marriage seems like a perfect picture: a beautiful home in a desirable school district, a vibrant five-year-old daughter, and careers that allow both of us to thrive professionally. Friends and family see stability, love, and balance. But beneath that polished exterior lies a starkly different reality.

For the past several years, my wife has gradually retreated from our relationship, leaving intimacy, emotional connection, and partnership in a shadowed corner of our lives. Hand-holding, kisses, cuddles, simple gestures that once defined us, have become almost nonexistent. Important dates are forgotten, attempts to reconnect are dismissed, and every effort I make to nurture our bond feels like it falls on deaf ears. What began as love, laughter, and companionship has slowly eroded into cohabitation, leaving me questioning the sustainability of our marriage and the example it sets for our daughter.

Seven Years Together and Counting: Living in a Marriage That Looks Perfect on the Outside but Feels Hollow on the Inside

Raising a Child in the Midst of Emotional Distance: Balancing Parenthood While Feeling Like Roommates Instead of Partners

The Slow Fade of Intimacy: How Hand-Holding, Kisses, and Cuddles Became Memories of a Former Life

Being Invisible in Your Own Marriage: Forgotten Anniversaries, Ignored Birthdays, and the Pain of Feeling Unseen

Attempts at Reconnection Met With Resistance: When Therapy, Vacations, and Quality Time Are Brushed Aside as Unnecessary

When Every Suggestion Feels Dismissed: The Heartbreak of Offering Ways to Save a Marriage and Being Told “No” at Every Turn

Watching History Repeat Itself: Fearing a Childhood Shadowed by the Pain of a Failing Marriage

Preparing for the Worst While Hoping for the Best: Consulting a Lawyer, Drafting an Exit Plan, and Securing a Stable Future for My Daughter

The Ultimatum That Could Change Everything: Confronting My Wife While Our Daughter Was Away and Demanding Change Before the New Year

Redefining Priorities and Protecting Innocence: Choosing to Act Before Our Daughter Witnesses a Marriage That No Longer Works

Curious to hear the verdict from Reddit on this one.

After years of trying to reignite the spark in a relationship that has slowly become distant and transactional, I find myself standing at a crossroads. The love and memories we once shared still exist, but they are overshadowed by persistent neglect, indifference, and repeated disregard for my needs and the needs of our marriage. I am forced to consider not only my own happiness but the emotional environment in which my daughter is growing up.

A marriage should be a partnership, a safe harbor, and a source of support; when it no longer functions as such, continuing without intervention risks normalizing dysfunction and resentment. My ultimatum is not an act of malice; it is a plea for change, a final effort to save what we built, and a protective measure to ensure our daughter grows up in a healthy, loving environment. The choice now is clear: foster a genuine connection before it’s too late, or accept that sometimes love requires letting go for the greater good.