AITA for telling my girlfriend that she can’t speak Japanese to my parents during thanksgiving.

Family gatherings are supposed to bring people closer, but sometimes they can stir up unexpected tension. When cultural pride, language skills, and family dynamics all collide, the result can be more explosive than anyone anticipated. That’s exactly what happened to me when I told my girlfriend she wasn’t allowed to speak Japanese—her strongest skill—at Thanksgiving dinner with my parents. What I thought was a simple request to keep the peace has now left me questioning whether I went too far.

Thanksgiving Meet-and-Greet Gone Wrong

A Family That Speaks Japanese

The Twist: My Girlfriend Is Fluent Too

The “No Japanese” Rule

Pretend You Don’t Understand?

Distance and Doubt

What does Reddit have to say about all this? Let’s find out.

Looking back, I realize my attempt to “protect” family harmony may have come across as controlling and unfair. By asking my girlfriend to hide such a huge part of who she is, I might have caused more damage than I intended—not just to her, but to our relationship. Maybe I was overthinking how my parents would react, or maybe I was trying too hard to avoid any jealousy among family members. Either way, I can’t help but wonder—did I cross a line and become the real problem here?