AITA for refusing to “be the bigger person” and attend my stepsister’s family funeral?

I never imagined I’d be in a position where I’d have to justify skipping a funeral. Funerals are supposed to be about compassion, support, and coming together—but what happens when the person grieving has spent years making it clear you’re not family? My stepsister and I grew up under the same roof, but she constantly reminded me that I was “just” her dad’s wife’s kid. Now, her half-sister—someone I never even had a relationship with—has passed away, and suddenly, people expect me to be there, like all that history never happened.

From Sisters to Strangers

The Tragedy and the Pressure

Am I Really the Bad Guy?

Let’s find out how what other Redditors think about this drama.

At the end of the day, I can’t pretend years of rejection and cruelty never happened just because tragedy struck. I’m not heartless—I feel for her loss—but I also know I’m not obligated to step into a role she never allowed me to have. Maybe that makes me cold in some people’s eyes, but for me, it’s about protecting my peace. Grief doesn’t erase the past, and it doesn’t automatically make someone entitled to your presence.